


Forever Waiting

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-02
Updated: 2005-01-02
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian does something unexpected; Justin learms to live with it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

_We're just two lost souls, swimming in a fish bowl, year after year. Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here._

 

His lean, long torso naturally accented the grandiose bed in the most perfect way. Outside the sun began to break, the streaky-yellowish rays dividing themselves among the world.

As he sat back, ingesting the stale, dense blackness of a cigarette, Brian watched him paint.

Justin painted fervently, vigorously intent on his abstract. Brian noticed the muscles in his back excitedly moving up and down, twitching nervously, while the greatness flowed out of him.

Brian exchanged glances with Justin every ten minutes or so, smiles ingested and tucked away. He had found that five years with his somewhat younger lover had changed him. Fucked him up, if you will. Of course, it had it's positives. Brian had never seen the sun rise before. Today, he watched it through the expanse of the loft windows, leaving a gleam on outside Pittsburgh that it didn't seem to have.

 

And, of course, he was watching it with Justin, which was momentous in itself. Pre-Justin, all Brian wanted to do was get up and go to work. Fuck some hot thing at night, but he generally avoided the sun like the plague, simply because it meant time was drifting away from him.

Brian shifted, slinking his naked body further down on the bed, so that he was lying on his stomach, head propped up on an arm, staring intensely at this beautiful man who loved him.

"How's it going, Sunshine?"

Justin sighed, out of anxiousness, and drew a few rays on the canvas.

"Fuck. Amazing, so fucking amazing."

Justin grinned over at him for a second before turning back to work. In that moment, the sun was radiating from outside of Justin, not from the sky. So fucking amazing, alright.

In the shadowy crevices of the lost Brian felt something slip inside him that wasn't supposed to be there. A feeling he used to live with, a collapse of judgment. Fear. Along with the dawning of a new day, the sun brought Brian another dosage of the reality that Justin would leave him one day. Again. 

It wrapped itself around Brian's throat, leaving him speechless. His ears were numb, he couldn't hear the swift strokes of Justin's paintbrush on the canvas anymore. He was turning into the monster. Again.


	2. Forever Waiting

_And I'm thinking about a brand new hope, the one I've never known,'cause now I know it's all that I wanted._

 

Lost in the moment.

Justin continued to sketch and paint, the whiteness of the canvas slowly becoming something meaningful, something someone would appreciate. 

It was after 6 by now, the sun had risen. Too late for today, he would have to finish it tomorrow.

 

He stretched and wiped the sweat that collected on his shoulders, that dripped down his bare chest and collected in his stomach.

Justin sauntered slowly over to the bed. He found Brian on his side, the only visible thing was his messy hair, some of the strands becoming curls from the stickiness of the summer day. He couldn't see his face.

 

Inside Brian had gone over why he was here. Because, he loved him. Because, he, fuck, who knows. The only forseeable reason Justin was still here was because he wanted something in return? 'My love. He wants me to love him.' 

He wasn't drunk. And his father didn't just die. So what the fuck? 

 

Justin hummed a little, a few moments of 'All I Want Is You', as he forcefully opened the window, let some rays in.

 

He slipped carefully into bed, kissing Brian's head from behind. Brian didn't push him away this time.

 

Justin climbed over, so he was face to face with him and the tears that streamed his face. All of a sudden.

 

Then, it all floated away. Justin's hands on his face. 

The downward spiral that he called his life. 

His insignificance.

With Justin's words, it all floated away.


End file.
